I dont know if you knew, but I havent tried to contact you because you told me not to. I know you took me off of your AIM or maybe you just havent been on. I never IMed you because I figured you wouldnt answer anyway or it would make you mad.
You said you didnt mean to hurt me when we stopped being friends, so I assume that means you dont hate me, but Im doing everything you asked me to in hopes that you get the space you need.
I think of you everyday. I miss you all the time. And I write these letters to you because I cant reach out to you like I miss doing. You were my bestfriend at the point when you left and the part that kills me-- I dont get to prove that to you.
Anyway, I was just thinking about that while I was trying to go to sleep. I always wonder if you were waiting for me to say something before you took me off of AIM and then I didnt. Well I did it out of respect but now I miss seeing your little mobile name on my list. I just feel like its not my place to say the first word because I had the last one. If you miss me, tell me. Like I always said, Im not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you.
Love, Jessa
On a quick note: I was so damn productive it frightened me. 4 loads of laundry done, folded, and put away. Finances done and budget made for my trip. Packing list completed for tomorrow night. Showered. Cleaned out my closet. And sorted mail I had been putting off for weeks. I killed it! And I feel proud, productive, and still not tired. Ugh....
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