Confused

I have to get this out of my head before I explode.

I dont know what I did wrong.
I fell for you. I admitted it, we both did! Yet after tonight, I feel completely awkward, like I did something wrong. I have that "bad puppy" feeling right now and Im racking my brain as to why I made you mad.
I get it-- you said you werent mad-- but I just didnt feel like things sat right with us when you left. I asked you to stay until the movie was over and it still had 10 mins left when you said you needed to go.

You looked exhausted when you left, and I know you had an extremely busy 2 days but while you were leaving for home, and while you were there, you tried breaking up with me. I dont think your excuses of "youre not good enough for me" or "i cant give you the things in life you want" are valid because I want nothing more than to just be loved by someone who gets me.

I really, deep down, got that feeling like you were IT. The One. The guy I was suppose to be with and now...now I just feel this tightness in my chest that maybe those were excuses and you really dont wanna be with me any longer.

If thats the case then stop pulling me deeper into this relationship. I allowed myself to fall for you. Now don't let me crash and burn.

I love you. I hope that you let me in on whatever it is thats bothering you.
As for NYE, I get it, you don't wanna do anything with me and my friends. It hurts me inside knowing that but Im willing to overlook it. Maybe you just don't do holidays and Id be willing to work around that if I know whats up beforehand hand. But all of it is just leaving me completely confused. I wish I could read your mind and help you feel better about whatever it is.