Confessions of....

I just watched The Confessions of a Shopaholic and I feel empowered. Now this empowerment is brought to you by middle of the night insomnia but none-the-less, its going to carry over into the light of day.

Lets take a look at the numbers:

--Credit Cards--

1: $4,013

2: $605

3: $1,745

4: $77

5: $392

6: $22

__________

Total: 6854

--Student Loans--

$11,484

--Reoccurring Debts--

$275 Car

$85 Insurance

$36 Pet Insurance (yes, my pet has health insurance and I dont)

$110 Cellular Mobile

__________

Total: 506

Total Debt: $18,844

(ok, I just vomited a little, no lie)

Now! I need someone to grab a bottle of booze and help me figure out how this debt is going to go down. And watching the woman in the move get rid of her debt by having a sale is going to be my first step. Im feeling an "end of summer" garage sale in the works.

I have SO many nice clothes that are just going to waste sitting with tags on them in the closet. Not to mention the ones I have worn once or twice and then forgot about. And dont even get me started on the items that I just adore but can never wear again because someone insulted me in the outfit. ::le sigh::

And its not just clothes! I have STUFF. Im a borderline hoarder here people. I literally have an either of the garage full of my stuff that was meant for "when I move out." Newsflash to self, with debt you are going nowhere. With guilt you are going nowhere. With the love of your family and the house you live in, you are going nowhere. Maybe thats the awful truth but there it is.

Phase two of this purge-fest? Getting Gpa to let me get some of those "big girl, move out" item into the house. Mom says she wants to re-do the kitchen? Lets do it. Stop being all talk and JUST DO IT! (Michael Jordan and Nike are reaping a residual somewhere for that)

And heres a little disclaimer to people I know, haters, and multiple lost friends in my life:

I am never going to be that person you once knew. I am going to push myself to break out of that mold you put me in and all it took was for one person to believe in me. Sure, they don't know they empowered me to be better but FUCK who cares! They surely dont!

I will never be used again

I will never be made to feel little

Nobody will push me into something that makes me uncomfortable

I will make amends where they are due

And I will be the person YOU always knew I could be but I was too afraid to face

I am on my way to getting out of debt, getting a dream job, loving who I am for the first time, and doing things that make me happy without feeling like I need anyone else.